Professional Wedding Planning Advice; What The
Experts Want You to Know!
Congratulations on your engagement! Now to the planning! There are so many questions when it comes to planning a wedding from what dress your going to pick out to the desserts at the reception. One of the biggest stresses is how to ensure your two families “get along” not just throughout the planning process but on your wedding day. Joining two families is hard, especially when there are a lot of different personalities and beliefs.
We at Las Vegas Party Ride asked the top wedding and event planners in Las Vegas some tips to making this process as smooth as possible. See what the experts had to share!
“Bringing two families together for a wedding can be very stressful on a couple. What advice do you have for any bride and groom to avoid family drama on the big day?”
Uniting two families can be stressful for all individuals involved. The best way to minimize any drama is to be open with communication! If you think it’s best to bite your tongue, the opposite is true! Best to try to relive any issues, before the wedding so that people don’t act out at the wedding! It’s best to make sure the bride and groom see eye to eye on any issues involving outside people, before discussing the issues with them!
The main thing to remember is that it is their day! They will make the final decisions, and they can’t get too wrapped up in everyone else’s needs. They can be courteous of their feeling and try to work out a compromise, but at the end of the day, it is their day! Usually when family members feel that their feelings have been validated, they’re most likely to push the problems aside for the bride and groom on their day!
Lastly, utilize your wedding planner to help with seating arrangements and various ways to maybe keep certain family members that do not get along, more separated from each other. This will help minimize awkward moments, or a spark for problems!
– Brandalyn McNeill, Oh My Posh Weddings & Events
Have a great attitude going in. Be inclusive. Be respectful of any family traditions (religious and non-religious). Create opportunities for families to get together and have some fun BEFORE the wedding day. A rehearsal dinner is a great place to start, but it can be anything that puts everyone in the same room together. It doesn’t have to be fancy. In fact, casual is usually better. Some couples plan a whole “wedding weekend” of events for their guests so everyone can get to know everyone else. A little familiarity goes a long way at the actual ceremony and reception.
One of the latest trends is to allow open seating and not choose a side for the ceremony. This sends a great message about inclusivity and openness.
Alternately seat members of your two families at the same table (or tables) at the reception to encourage communication.
Serve dinner buffet style so guests aren’t stuck to their table all night.
Hiring the right professionals for your team is an excellent step in the right direction. A great wedding planner will alleviate the stress and anxiety so you can enjoy your big day. They will also have ides and suggestions to fit you and your families, and make the whole experience more memorable, and more fun.
– Timothy A. Johnson, Technical Director, Rachael’s Custom Events
Bringing two families together for a wedding can be very stressful on a couple. There are a few ways to help reduce the stress.
If you are doing a plated dinner you can always separate families at different tables ahead of time. This ensures that people who may or may not like each other are not seated together.
You can also do a chalk board sign at the ceremony telling guest to pick a seat not a side your loved by both the groom and the bride. This sets the tone from the beginning of the ceremony that this is about two families becoming one and it is about the bride and groom. Additionally, it is always good to leave your phones off starting the morning of your wedding.
Lastly, hire a planner or a day-of coordinator. Nothing takes the stress off more than having someone to try and resolve issues, mediate problems, and keep the stress away from you.
– Elijah Everson, Pop Noggins/Absolute Amusements
Weddings are about the bride and the groom so whether it’s the mother in laws not getting along or divorced parents, I keep them away from the couple. When doing the seating arrangements, keep guests that don’t get along furthest away from each other so they don’t have to interact.
– Desi Wojtowicz, Owner and Wedding Planner, Desirable Events by Desi
The desire to please everyone can leave a bride and groom not only drained and overwhelmed, but it can creep in and steal their much deserved joy and excitement. My advice to any engaged couples is to keep in mind that the wedding will come and go, but your marriage designed to last forever and that forever is up to you two, no one else. If you hold this close to your hearts during the planning process, it will guide you to make decisions that are right for you two. If any drama does begin to arise, handle it with love, communicating that you are choosing to put each other first and that you hope love and support is only reciprocated. Have peace in knowing that you are starting your marriage on the right foot, by putting each other first, now and always.
-Tara Marie Dugan, Owner, With Love by Tara Marie
My advice to all my couples on their big day is to take it all in. There will be many family members that give advice and think you should do this over that but in the end, it is your day and all about you as a couple and what you want. “Remember advice is always good but you have to be happy with the outcome”.
– Tina L Weghorst, CEO, Events to Remember Wedding & Party Planning
Form a united front with your fiancé…There’s safety in numbers: Don’t have a single conversation with your family about wedding details in which you and your fiancé are not united. If they corner you on your own, always use the fail safe line: That’s a great idea, but I need to run that by (insert fiance’s name here).
Use your wedding planner’s (albeit, limited) influence: Make an appointment with your fiancé to see a neutral party (therapist, minister) to discuss potential issues and how to handle them together. As wedding professionals, we’ve worked with lots of couples have successfully navigated these waters, time and time again.
Rethink or Create your own Traditions: The wedding police will not be attending your wedding. If mom insists on you making your random third- cousin, Enid (who you’ve never met) one of you bridesmaids or maid of honor, you may want to consider walking the aisle solo or nixing a bridal party.
Enlist an Emotional Spokesperson: Rely on a friend or professional for counsel and deflection. Again, that’s one of the reasons you are working with a wedding planner. We are at your service and are willing to be that filter between you and pushy family members.
Be Generous: Consider putting all parents on the invitation, regardless of who’s paying. Allow cousins who really want to be in the wedding to help on DIY projects. If they feel invested, they’re likely to behave better.
Allot Time to Talk: Announce to your family that you’ll be free to discuss non-logistical wedding issues for an hour a week at a specific time. Then stick to that. Have your Emotional Spokesperson there for support, if necessary.
Take Charge: This day belongs to you and your fiancé, and as such your wishes should be respected. Don’t be pressured into bowing down to every person’s desires and whims. Make sure you and your fiancé feel comfortable with the decisions being made.
…on the other hand, Lighten up: If you can hold onto your sense of humor when all those around you are losing theirs, you might just have the time of your life. Sometimes saying yes, may actually add an element and value to your day that you may have missed in the process of planning.
Practice Non-Avoidance: Face the issue head on, the moment the arise. Being proactive will also save you lots of hurt feelings and tears. Many believe that talking about a situation will stir it up, but the opposite is true.
A little empathy goes a loooooong way: Don’t act in kind but in kindness. Let’s face it, this is YOUR day, but your mom has been planning this day since she first knew you were on your way. Though you don’t have got entertain every idea and you certainly do not have to allow yourself to be railroaded into something that is against your wishes. Placing yourself in the position of understanding why the request was made, will give you a different perspective on matters. You can never go wrong with empathy.
Cancel your subscription to those issues: You don’t have to RSVP yes to every fight you’re invited to. If your a family member or friend starts getting a bit hot under the collar, simply make a decisive statement like, I can see that this topic isn’t going to be a productive conversation for either of us.’ Let’s raise the topic again when tempers cool. Also, have an impartial third party on hand, i.e. your wedding planner, to help make sure that tempers don’t flare up again.
They are your words. Choose Wisely: Instead of saying to your fiancé, “I hate your mother, so you need to talk to her”, try, “This is a painful situation for me, and I need your help to get through it.” There is a difference between asking someone to have your back and demanding that they execute your need.
– Kathleen Joseph, Rose Gold Luxe Events
Compiled by Las Vegas Party Ride